There are times in our lives when we can feel displaced which can result in a sense of not belonging anywhere, of being ungrounded or uprooted. It can feel as though we are visiting our own lives. This is often accompanied by a sense of being dispossessed because we feel unheard, invalidated and powerless. The grief we can feel at these times is pervasive and complex.
There are moments in life when we lose more than a place—we lose a sense of who we are. Whether through a move, a rupture in relationship, a crisis of identity, or the slow erosion of belonging, we find ourselves un-homed. It’s not just about being without shelter. It’s about feeling dispossessed—of our roles, routines, anchors, and even our sense of meaning.
In narrative practice, the concept of migration of identity refers to the process of moving away from a limiting story about oneself toward a richer, more preferred identity. It’s about transitioning from a sense of "this is who I’ve always been" or “this is who I have to be always” to "this is who I’m becoming."
In literary criticism, a bildungsroman is a literary genre that focuses on the psychological and moral growth and change of the protagonist from childhood to adulthood. The term comes from the German words Bildung (‘formation’ or ‘education’) and Roman (novel). We call these types of narratives a coming-of-age story and they resonate deeply with us because they explore universal themes of growth, identity, and self-discovery. They capture the emotional struggles, triumphs, and transitions that everyone experiences at some point in life.
Essentially, ‘The Show Must Go On!’ is a reminder to keep moving forward, no matter the obstacles. In our lives we will encounter problems, set-backs, difficulties, moments of failure and large amounts of self-doubt. This is normal and experienced by each of us at times throughout our lives. Regardless, we can push forward despite meeting adversity. We can fulfill our responsibilities in spite of facing complex difficulties. We can strive to handle setbacks with grace and a sense of humour. We can deliver an outcome without forcing disruption. We can handle it.
As we move through life, we may pick up messages about our differences. We can become aware of dreams and wishes we feel excluded from having and we may come to conclusions that we are not good enough to have or enjoy some of the offerings of life. We arrive at a decision that there must be some sort of problem with us. Many times, we then pay attention to situations, comments and interactions that validate this assumption that we are the problem.
For all of us, problems can visit our lives at any time. There are times when we might feel as though our problems over-stay their welcome and, like unruly house guests, they can invite more of their problem friends to crash into our lives. Some problems move in alongside us and can travel with us for decades. This is one of the problems with problem stories! Some problems pop up and move on in relatively short bursts of time. Regardless, none of us is immune to problems. When I work with individuals and teams, I notice that problems stories can fall into a few dominant themes.
