In narrative practice, the concept of migration of identity refers to the process of moving away from a limiting story about oneself toward a richer, more preferred identity. It’s about transitioning from a sense of "this is who I’ve always been" or “this is who I have to be always” to "this is who I’m becoming." It’s a metaphorical "migration" - not of geography, but of identity, meaning, and self-understanding. It’s the journey people take when they begin to re-author their lives by exploring alternative stories that reflect their values, hopes, and strengths, rather than being defined by problems, trauma, or external expectations. When we loosen the story of who we are and break away from conscripted ideas of who we have to be we open up to new possibilities.
When we are in caught up in sadness, feel lost and confusion fogs up our thinking, we get stuck in constricted views about who we are and who we have to be. Maybe we think it’s important to show up in a specific, stereotypical way based on a societal or familiar view of what it means to be a particular role. Maybe we don’t know how to be ‘an adult’, or ‘a parent’, or ‘a partner’. We might think this is about a faultiness in our make up. There are times when we can believe we are different from others, that we want something we are not entitled to have or that we are simply not enough.
When we are lost, stuck, confused and afraid; feeling like an island in an expansive sea, it is our relationships that can bridge us back to a mainland. When people love us and care for us, they signify there are parts of us that they find interesting, beautiful and wonderful. Other people see possibility where we might see nothing. They recognise talents where we notice failures. They give witness to a potential in us that we may have disregarded. Healthy relationships build us back up and carry us through times when we feel alienated.
The trick is to stay connected to real people and not technology. When we want to isolate and think we are not great company, and we decrease our interaction to its absolute minimum it is actually the time to be reaching out to people. The people who care for us and care about us would light a hundred thousand matches to re-ignite our self-belief. They can tell us what they remember of our triumphs and our gifts. They can share their imaginings of what they see us achieving and the futures they dream for us. They can soothe our qualms and pass tissues to soak up our tears. They help us find the path we have lost or shine a torch that reminds us we are creating our own path.
In turbulent times of change and when we find ourselves washed up on a wasteland your lifeline will be relationships. We build each other up. If you would like some support working out a way back to your path or, indeed, to find a new path why not reach out to Made Better Human or consider attending our Made Better Stories program. You might find our module on Empowering Stories particularly useful. We’re looking forward to becoming your change doula.